Archive for the 'Thinking out loud' category
كيف “تظحك” كويتي؟
بعد دراسات دامت لأعوام عديدة…
المهم!
تتعدد الطرق لإضحاك البشر، فهي تعتمد على المعرفة بخلفية حبكة النكتة و أن يكون راوي النكتة شخص سمين… سمين؟؟ شنو؟!؟! طالب من أمازون و ما وصلت شحنتك؟؟؟
المهم!
في وايد طريجات عشان يظحكينه إنسان كويتي لابس دشداشة مالت نوم… مالت نوم؟؟ شنو؟!؟! ماخذ حبتين بانادول مع قمردين أنا بابا؟؟؟ إنته شنو؟؟ ستاند أب كوميدي مال بيان قطعة 9 شارع 5؟؟؟
لكن توصلت أحدث الدراسات إلى العديد من الطرق لإضحاك الكويتين بشكل عام و البدون بدون شكل عام أو خاص.
خاص؟؟ قطه بالزباله!!!!
سوف يتم ذكر طريقتين من ألف فقط للاختصار… إختصار؟؟؟ وده علاج بالخارج!
الطريقة الأولى:
معادلة خربوطية 1: ( س + ص)
حيث س: أي جملة كويتية فعلية كانت أو إسمية تستوجب ذكر (ص) فيما بعدها.
و حيث ص: إسم لون يتم تأكيد آخر علامة تشكيلية في آخره و إن كان يجوز التنوين.
مثال بو طقه 1: س = ياخي القهوة مالتكم لونها. ص = أحمر.
س + ص = ياخي القهوة مالتكم لونها أحمرُ
و قد يتم إكمال النكتة ذاتها عندما يرد الطرف الآخر بأي من ك أو ل.
حيث ك = (ليش مو … ) + ص مع تغيير التشكيل،
و حيث ل: غ + ع
حيث غ = “يعني مو” أو “يعني لونه مو…” ، ع = (ص +1)س
مثال بوطقه 2: (مع استعمال ك)
الأول: ياخي القهوة مالتكم لونها أحمرُ.
الثاني: ليش مو أحمرِ؟
هنا يضحك الإثنان.
مثال بوطقه 3: (مع استعمال ل)
الأول: ياخي القهوة مالتكم لونها أحمرُ.
الثاني: يعني مو أزرقُ؟
هنا يضحك الإثنان.
الطريقة الثانية:
معادلة خربوطية 2: ( د + جـ + ف + ق)
حيث د = (أي بداية جملة غرضها التذكير بحادثة من الماضي، من مثل: “تذكر يوم” “سوى مثل” “هذا مثل سالفة” “ذكرني بـ ” ” سوى سوات” إلخ)
جـ = (إسم أي شخصية من الشخصيات الخمسة الأساسية من مسلسل “درب الزلق” و من الممكن استعمال الأسماء الحقيقية للمثلين أو أم عليوي في حالة عبدالعزيز النمش)
ف = (عبارة ربط قصيرة مابين جـ و ق تدل على فعل جـ لـ ق ،من مثل “لمن” “يوم”)
ق = (أي حدث أو مشهد من أحداث المسلسل المذكور أعلاه و التي قام بفعلها جـ)
مثال بوطقه 4:
د = هذا مثل سالفة
جـ = حسين
ف = يوم
ق = دش عليهم بالعرس و لسبهم بالعقال.
إذا (د + جـ + ف + ق) = هذا مثل سالفة حسين يوم دش عليهم بالعرس و لسبهم بالعقال.
و توجد العديد من الاحتمالات المختلفة النتيجة لهذه المعادلة، كما تعتمد في كثير من الأحيان على عمر المتلقي
و توجد ثغرة بسيطة في هذه المعادلة لكنها أيضا فعالة في الوصول إلى النتيجة النهائية
و هي أن لا يتطابق جـ مع ق، لأنها ساعات تمشي على خلق الله
مثال بوطقه 5:
سوى سوات قحطة يوم يقول “هذا لـَهم كلب”
ذكرني يوم بوصالح يقول يبي كباية ميه بكلاص
تذكر يوم أم عليوي تكلم سعد فوق السطح؟
—
المفروض أقوم من النوم الساعة 9:30 الصبح… 9:30؟؟ شنو؟؟ طالب جامعة عنده محاظره الساعه 10؟؟؟
—
I don’t believe in Panadol…
So I come home and my aunt (5alti) is there and she says “Are you fasting with us or with Amreeka?” … yeah… I don’t think I gave her an answer actually… so yeah… like totally totally yeah yeah…
—
Soooo… I go into Sultan Center in Dhajeej at around 1am… it was fucking crowded… of course it was because of Ramadan… Now that, for the first time, ruined my usual lovely relaxing after-midnight Sultan Center experience… you go there… it’s almost empty except for some newlyweds, there’s always at least one couple… some guys who look like they just left the gym… or had intense sexual intercourse together maybe… sometimes you see a father and a kid… and also people who work at Sultan do their shopping there… of course there are some people there who, just like me, enjoy this late Sultan experience… it’s really relaxing to go spend something around 20 kd like 3 times a month there… very therapeutic… it has this nice feeling like a mini IKEA-tour feeling… Every time I walk through IKEA I feel like I should get married real soon… talk about being materialistic, right? … “It’s not exactly marriage” I argue with myself “it’s just that it’s the feeling of wanting to decorate your own place I guess.” I later add “It’s not easy for a single guy in Kuwait to get to live in his own place.”
“It’s affordable I mean” I exclaim, “But there’s lots of things you have to deal with” I think I meant parents here…
So yeah…
—
“The life is not like this, it’s like that” – Karmük Kiminski, Polish shoes
—
Some things bearded guys don’t do…
Drive a Jaguar
Listen to Michael Jackson
Watch grey’s anatomy
Celebrate mother’s day
Do culinary studies
Type fast on a keyboard
Own an iPod nano
Have Ringo as their favorite Beatle
Love rainbows and unicorns
Smoke slim cigarettes
Have a wireless mouse
Get a tan
—
More suggestions are welcomed…
إقتراح لحملة كويتي و أفلـّم: حملة كويتية شبابية سينمائية
: تعريف الحملة
هي عبارة عن حملة سينمائية شبابية كويتية و العكس صحيح
: أهداف الحملة
نشر الثقافة السينمائية في أرجاء المعمورة –
نشر الوعي السينمائي –
نشر الفكر السينمائي –
حل مشكلة البدون –
جعل السينما مادة تدرس في المدارس مثل الرياضيات و التجويد –
تشجيع الشباب الكويتي الواعي فقط –
دعم الشباب –
مصلحة الديرة –
أن يكون في كل بيت جهاز حاسوب آلي –
حث الشباب على الظهور في المجلات بلا داعي و لا سبب –
: الرعاة الرسميون
نادي البدون للسينما – البنك السينمائي الكويتي – هيئة هالشكل للإبداع – مجلة حين سينما الشهرية – شركة أبو إلي مقترح الحملة – شركة عمه – شركة أبو وحده من المتطوعيين للعمل في الحملة
: الرعاة الغير رسميون
فلّان و علّان و فلنتان و فلنتاين
: الشعارات المقترحة للحملة
فلـّم و اتعلـّم
أنا أفلـّم و أفتخر إني كويتي
فلـّم عالجمهور
لا تفـّلم علينا… فلـّم معانا
لا تفـّلم بس على أهلك، فلـّم على الكويت
إذا مو كويتي أصيل لا تقعد تفلـّم
فلـّم طموحاتك
شفيك ياخي ما تفلـّم؟
شفيڇ ياختي ما تفلمين؟
نبيها تفليم
: تصاميم للدعايات المقترحة
صورة لبنت صغيرة لابسة ثوب صلاة و تدعي. فقاعة مكتوب فيها يا رب، أبي أكبر و أصير مخرجة
صورة لطفل يبتسم رافع والده المبتسم بأصبع واحد فقط. فقاعة للطفل مكتوب فيها يبا إنت صج كلـّه تخفخني بالحياة الواقعية، لكن أنا أكسر راسك باستخدام أحدث المؤثرات البصرية و الخدع
صورة لعجوز كويتية مبرقعة. فقاعة مكتوب فيها ما منكم مخرج سنع يا عيال؟
صورة لـ 3 أطفال يلعبون مع والدهم. فقاعة على الأطفال يبه، أشوه إنك مخرج سينمائي، يعني لو كنت مدير بنك ما دخلنا مدارس خاصة لأنه ما راح يكون عندنا فلوس وايد
صورة لطالب جامعي ماسك شهادة التخرج. فقاعة مكتوب فيها حققت حلمي و صرت مخرج سينمائي مو تلفزيوني، لأنه فيه فرق
صورة لطالبتين جامعيتيين، وحده محجبة و الثانية لأ. فقاعة مكتوب فيها ألحين عن طريق السينما الشبابية نقدر نناقش قضايا الكويت لمدة أسبوع بعدين ننسى
صورة لبعض موظفي الأمن في أحد المجمعات التجارية. فقاعة مكتوب فيها ودنا نسوي فيلم سينمائي نمدح فيه الكويت و بعدين الحكومة تجنسنا
صورة للشيخ نيبل العووضي. فقاعة مكتوب فيها السينما الحلال هي طريقك للجنة
صورة لموظفات في إحدى الوزارات و هم يأكلون صمون فلافل و ناطرين توصل الفطاير. فقاعة مكتوب فيها ماذا تعلم عن سينما الواقع؟؟
صورة لقبر مكتوب عليه “شباب الديرة” و تحتها مكتوب “هنا يرقد الإبداع” و علم الكويت بالزاوية
: المسابقة المصاحبة للحملة
تنطلق تحت هذه الحملة و تقام فعاليات مسابقة سينما الشباب التفليمية و الأخيرة
: شروط المسابقة
أن يكون المتقدم كويتي الجنسية، أو لابس دشداشة.
أن لا يقل عمر المشترك عن 9 سنين
أن لا تطول مدة الفيلم المقدم للمسابقة عن 3 ساعات.
أن يكون الحوار باللهجة الكويتية أو أي لهجة ثانية تضحك الجمهور.
أن يكون عند المخرج بطاقة أعمال يوزعها على الناس، و لّا ليش صاير مخرج؟
أن يكون للمخرج على الأقل لقاء تلفزيوني واحد
أن يكون المتقدم غير متأخر
: جوائز المسابقة
المركز الأول (مخصصة لطلبة قسم الإعلام بجامعة الكويت) : وظيفة مجانية كمخرج في تلفزيون الوطن
المركز الثاني (مخصصة لطالبات قسم الإعلام بجامعة الكويت): وظيفة مجانية كمذيعة في قناة الوطن بعدين قناة الراي
المركز الثالث (و تمنح لأفضل فيلم عيمي) : تذكرة سفر كويت – مشهد – كويت و أخرى، كويت – نيروبي – كويت
الرجاء المراسلة إن وجدت أي اقتراحات أخرى.
Little more conversation, little less action – take 3
A: Hey, listen.
B: I am.
A: I know.
B: Go ahead.
A: You know what’s the best thing a really tall person who sucks at sports can do?
B: Suck you?
A: Work as a librarian!!
B: You should work on your phrasing of this joke. It has potential.
A: Well, I gave it a shot.
B: Anyway! You wanna have Saturday on breakfast?
A: You mean breakfast on Saturday?
B: That’s what I said.
A: You said Saturday on breakfast, when you meant breakfast on Saturday.
B: No I didn’t.
A: Yes you did.
B: Prove it!
A: I can’t… but people who are reading this can.
B: I don’t care about people who are reading this, I’m not talking to them. I’m talking to you.
A: Well, I don’t have the ability to go back in time and show you.
B: Then shut up!
A: How insulting. Is that your best?
B: No it’s not.
A: True, you have no best!
B: If I had no best then that would’ve been my best, right?
A: You’re crazy.
B: No no. I have no better than that, then it is my best.
A: Whatever!
B: Whatever? Is that your best?
A: No it’s not!
B: Are you saving your best?
A: Maybe. Listen, what do you think of fire? I mean philosophically speaking.
B: I know it burns! that’s philosophical enough for me!
A: No no, I mean as an idea.
B: What the fuck are you talking about? It’s fire.
A: You never thought of looking beyond that?
B: Are you kidding me?
A: No I’m not. I think it’s really interesting.
B: Oh yeah? so is the writing on the wall.
A: What wall?
B: Never mind. Ever heard of TechnoEthics?
A: What’s that?
B: It’s an interdisciplinary research area concerned with all moral and ethical aspects of technology in society.
A: You just copied that from wikipedia, didn’t you?
B: That’s not the issue here, people think that computers and machines have rights.
A: What the fuck is wrong with people nowadays?
B: Nowadays? It’s been there since the 70s!
A: So what? a machine doesn’t work, you fix it or replace it. That’s it.
B: What if somebody did that to you?
A: I’m not a machine!
B: Yes you are!
A: I know, but I meant not in a mechanical sense.
B: In what sense then? Sense and Sensibility?
A: Jane Austen?
B: Who else would give a character a name such as Fanny Price?
A: You have something against Jane Austen?
B: No, I’m just saying. I hate her plots. Plus, her books are boring!
A: Whatever! Who are you to criticize such a canonized novelist.
B: You’re using big words here mister!
A: True. I forgot you had a small brain!
B: If you forgot, then your brain is small too.
A: So our brains are the same size?
B: Yeah, but I have a bigger penis!
A: Yeah, it suits you’re being an asshole. Go fuck yourself!
B: So yeah, I have mixed feelings about the TechnoEthics thingy.
A: I think only when people get their rights first, then we can think of machines’ rights!
B: Cliché!
A: Shut up!
B: People will never get all their rights!
A: You see? It’s because of people like you!
B: Of what?
A: People like you!
B: I know that people like me!
A: What?
B: Never mind!
A: Oh but I do mind.
B: Don’t you think it’s funny when businessmen have a fight in a meeting, then one says to the other “Hey! mind your own business!”
A: It’s not funny if one of them is losing millions.
B: Yeah, but the thing is that each one is minding his/her business already.
A: So there was no need to say that? I get it.
B: Why do you have to ruin every joke I tell?
A: I like solid jokes.
B: Oh yeah? what do you do with them? shove them up your ass?
A: I don’t think people are liking these dirty jokes too much.
B: Oh I think they do, they just don’t comment on this so they can pretend they never read such things.
A: But you think they read them?
B: They are reading them as we speak.
A: I don’t care that much.
B: It’s like someone following your every move.
A: Unfortunately in our case there are no moves, just words.
B: Why?
A: You know, to leave space for the imagination.
B: You can still have moves and actions and have room for imagination.
A: True. But that’s a choice.
B: Beastiality is a choice!
A: It’s Bestiality not Beastiality.
B: Aren’t they the same?
A: If you take part of the action!
B: You’re sick!
A: Oh yeah?
B: Yeah. You’re so sick, you make Cancer look like Liv Tyler!
A: I love Liv Tyler. Too bad she looks a bit like her dad.
B: I know! It gives you all these sick ideas, right?
A: Tell me about it!
B: Man, she’s hot!
A: Which movie you liked of her?
B: Can’t remember. To be honest I just go online and look at her pictures.
A: Wicked! How 2010 of you!
B: Hahahah! Shut up!
A: So which one you like the most?
B: Of what?
A: Liv Tyler pictures.
B: Oh, I don’t know man. There’s like a million of them.
A: Come on! There’s always this one that you go back to every time!
B: What? No there isn’t!
A: Come on!
B: Stop it!
A: Which photo?
B: Shut up!
A: Is it a still from a film?
B: No!
A: Paparazzi stuff? like a nipple showing or something?
B: No!
A: We’re getting close here. Which photo?
B: The one where she’s biting on a strawberry!
A: Fierce!
B: I know, right?
A: Respect man!
B: Thanks.
A: You’re welcome.
B: This is really nice. How much did you get that for?
A: It was 117
B: Wow, that’s a good price.
A: I know, the offer was only for one day.
B: Nice.
A: Does anyone has any idea what you’re talking about?
B: I don’t think so.
A: True. So what’s something you can get for 117.
B: It was a nice move not to mention the currency.
A: I know, right?
B: So, something for 117?
A: Probably people would think it’s a new mobile/gadget thingy.
B: True, or maybe a pair of shoes.
A: You think anyone thinks we’re 2 lesbians playing around in bed?
B: I don’t think so.
A: It’s possible though.
B: True.
A: Well, no one saw us yet, right?
B: Still, I think everyone thinks we’re 2 losers, whether men or women.
A: True.
B: I guess they’ll never know.
A: Maybe. Maybe not.
B: It’s not like it’s in my hand.
A: In my hand? or hands?
B: I think both work.
A: Are we done here?
B: Just a second.
A: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
B: Done!
A: Cool.
B: Super!
Common People
Ok, when I wrote my “theory” about the 12 pm and 12 am, I wasn’t ditching the theories of time out there or proving that what was out there is wrong or anything. I just wanted to explain how I never got the 12 am and 12 pm, and how I always though that they are zeros for me! within my own way of thinking! within my own logic!
Well I hope I haven’t offended anyone’s intelligence with my own theory of explaining myself. The only intelligence that was offended was mine. As I said in the post:
I never thought of why, I just assumed I’m just stupid like that…
Well me, having no defense, decided to think about it more… “I couldn’t be wrong” I murmured to my reflection on my iPhone, “And I shall blog about what I think, and why, and laysh, and mino, and sh7agga, and 7agsh7agga, and baby!”
So people take my posts seriously now? like seriously seriously? I mean who am I to define time or mess with centuries of science and research, right?
I do stand by what I said in explaining it to myself, and since I like starting from zero I saw it that way and it never made sense to me. But I didn’t say all the people around the world are wrong. I’m just stating how I see it. Ok? cool? yeah? super? merta7een? 7elween?
Take it easy people.
One more thing, 13 AM does equal to 1 PM because it’s 13 after noon.
Boy, was I serious in this post! : – D
–
This is Common People by William Shatner, yes Mr Shatner himself singing… It’s a kick ass song really ; – )
It’s a cover btw, the original was by Pulp
12 am? 12 pm?
I always set my mobile/Computer clock to the 24hr system, instead of the 12hr system.
Why?
Well, even if you’re not interested, I’ll tell you why.
It’s because I still mix 12 am and 12 pm. Well, I never thought of why, I just assumed I’m just stupid like that. But! Today while sitting at Caribou Coffee at The Avenues with Nada, you might’ve seen me there… I was the philipino woman with a missing front tooth… Anyways, I looked at my “iPhone” only to find it says 13:31 so I showed it to her, expressing my being fond of such “time readings” like 12:34, 05:50, 22:22 and such. So she asked me why do I have it on the 24hr system. Well me, having no defense, decided to think about it more… “I couldn’t be wrong” I murmured to my reflection on my iPhone, “And I shall blog about what I think, and why, and laysh, and mino, and sh7agga, and 7agsh7agga, and baby!”
Let’s see if I can make sense here… I’ll make it as simple as I can, and try to be sloooowwwwww
So, the time on any 24hr system clock starts with Zero, right? which I use of course.
So it’s 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 and 24 but! but! Let’s not forget that 24 is itself equals to Zero equals to 12. cool? and we know that 13:00 = 1:00, 14:00 = 2:00 and so on…
So in a 12hr system we start like this:
0 PM, 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, 9 AM, 10 AM, 11 AM, 0 AM, 1 PM, 2 PM, 3 PM, 4 PM, 5 PM, 6 PM, 7 PM, 8 PM, 9 PM, 10 PM, 11 PM, 12 PM … in which 0 PM = 12 PM, so Let’s cut this one long bastard in 2, then we have 2 parts
1st half of the day: 0 PM, 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, 9 AM, 10 AM, 11 AM
2nd half of the day: 0 AM, 1 PM, 2 PM, 3 PM, 4 PM, 5 PM, 6 PM, 7 PM, 8 PM, 9 PM, 10 PM, 11 PM
a complete 24hrs.
Soooo, in a 24hr system it could be all “AM” because 15:00 AM equals to 3:00 PM it’ll be something like that:
0 AM, 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, 9 AM, 10 AM, 11 AM, 12 AM, 13 AM, 14 AM, 15, AM 16 AM, 17 AM, 18 AM, 19 AM, 20 AM, 21 AM, 22 AM, 23 AM and back to 24 AM which is 0 AM, then 1 AM, 2 AM.
so the 2 parts again, become like this:
1st half of the day: 0 PM(which is 24 AM, which is also 0 AM), 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, 9 AM, 10 AM, 11 AM
Soooo, the 1st half of the day becomes like this:
1st half of the dayB: 0 AM, 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, 9 AM, 10 AM, 11 AM
Note that I started from Zero to 11, but 12hr system watches start from 12 to 11, in which case 12 = 0.
Aren’t we supposed to start from 0 to 11, instead of 12 to 11? Because we start from 0… Nothing starts from 12! you can’t just start counting 12, 1, 2, 3, 4 and so on… we start 0, 1, 2, 3, 4 and so on… Because 0 is the original start… how can time starts on a watch from 12? what was before that?? ok, you might say 11 which is true, and then? well… then 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 12
Aha!! you went back to 12!
Well, let me tell you my friend 0 is 12 and we start from 0! ZERO! ZILCH! got it?
Ok,
1st half of the day: 0 PM, 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, 9 AM, 10 AM, 11 AM
will be equal to
1st half of the dayB: 0 AM, 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, 9 AM, 10 AM, 11 AM
and
2nd half of the day: 0 AM, 1 PM, 2 PM, 3 PM, 4 PM, 5 PM, 6 PM, 7 PM, 8 PM, 9 PM, 10 PM, 11 PM
will be equal to
2nd half of the dayB: 0 PM, 1 PM, 2 PM, 3 PM, 4 PM, 5 PM, 6 PM, 7 PM, 8 PM, 9 PM, 10 PM, 11 PM
Sooo,
Then, according to 1st half of the dayB and 2nd half of the dayB because we start from 0 to 11, not 12 to 11
12 pm and 12 am don’t exist!! It’s all just in your minds people!!! Ok! I’m not the crazy one here… You are!!
I hope you enjoyed this light mental masturbation, and I hope it made sense : – D
I’m too sleepy to explain more, if there was anything to explain that is! : – p
Here are some titles I considered for this post:
12 am is the new 12 pm!
12 am is 12 pm and vice versa.
12 (am + pm) / ϴ
12 am and 12 pm: the musical
There’s no 12!
12 is in the future and it’s not before 11, unless it’s 0!
Too much Twelving!
12 o’clock is dead.
“Hey! Look at me making a total idiot of myself!”
I say AM, you say PAM (AM pronounced as in I am, so it would rhyme with pam)
Let’s start from 9,628,996,555 then go forward to 235 which is actually less than 9,628,996,555 [ because anything forward from 9,628,996,555 = 9,628,996,555 +n (n > 0) and if 235 was forward from 9,628,996,555 then n = - 9,628,996,320 in which n is actually < 0, which is not acceptable in case of moving "forward"]
Little more conversation, little less action
A: Hey… would you like to go bowling?
B: Naah, I suck at bowling…
A: oh yeah? Me too. So what sports you like playing?
B: football.
A: so you play games that you’re only good at.
B: actually I’m bad at football.
A: isn’t that why you don’t play bowling?
B: naah, I enjoy football more.
A: ah, ok. Cuz I thought you only play sports that you’re only good at.
B: why would I do that? That’d be silly.
A: yet logical.
B. It is. It is. I’m not saying anyone shouldn’t do that, it’s just that I don’t do such things.
A: hmmm, interesting.
B: yeah.
A: yeah… So are you up for bowling?
B: naah, I suck at that.
A: I know, you just told me that.
B: then why did you ask again?
A: I thought that proving the point that you don’t have to be good in a game in order to enjoy it is good enough to convince you to go
B: well, it didn’t!
A: Did I tell you that I took my aunt to the hospital last night?
B: oh, really? Sorry to hear that! What was wrong with her?
A: heart attack!
B: ouch!
A: nah, just kidding… She has diabetes and something was low.
B: something was low?
A: yeah, I’m not good with these medical terms.
B: sugar level?
A: yes! Sugar level!
B: That’s an easy medical term.
A: oh yeah? What’s a hard one?
B: I don’t know. It wouldn’t be hard if I knew it!
A: people can know some hard terms.
B: true. But then they wouldn’t be that hard, right? They’d be common knowlegde hard.
A: how can it be common and hard at the same time. If it’s common it’s common, if it’s hard it’s hard. It can’t be common hard.
B: Yes it can!
A: give me an example.
B: I can’t think of an example right now…
A: you see?
B: no no, I can’t think of it because it’s common hard… Making it common for most people and hard for some.
A: give me an example where it’s common for you and hard for others, how about that?
B: stop doing that!
A: doing what?
B: this! Talking!
A: so you want me to stop talking?
B: just for a second!
A: ok, I’ll shut up for 3 minutes while you think of an example.
B: I’m not gonna think of an example! Stop it!
A: stop what?!??
B: asking me for examples!
A: but how can you prove a point without that?
B: I’m not in a science conference or something!
A: you think they give examples just in science?
B: no! That was just an example!
A: you see! Now you made a point! You gave a good example!
B: fuck you!
A: fuck you!
B: fuck your examples!
A: no no, fuck your examples!
B: I thought I didn’t have any examples?!?! How can you fuck that?
A: fuck your science conference example! Fuck it really hard!
B: fuck your bowling!
A: come on!! Let’s go bowling! It’s fun!
B: not for me!
A: I promise you you’ll have a good time!
B: I have my own good time my own way!
A: yeah right!
B: you think I never have fun? You think that, right?
A: I never said that
B: you implied it!
A: you think too much… Stop overanalyzing!
B: whatever!
A: come on!!!! Let’s go bowling! Pleeeease!!
B: how much would it cost?
A: I don’t know! Nothing! Come on, I’ll pay for it
B: you’re not paying for me! I only asked cuz I thought I might need to withdraw some cash. That’s all!
A: yeah right!
B: you think i’m cheap? You fucking think I’m cheap?
A: no no, you’re not cheap! I admit that I’m cheaper than you.
B: cheapER? So I’m cheap
A: no you’re not!
B: then why did you offer to pay for me?
A: because I didn’t wanna force you into paying for something you might not enjoy it.
B: you know what?
A: what?
B: I’ll pay for my game and yours too!
A: oh yeah?
B: yeah!
A: ok
B: ok
A: so shall we?
B: yeah, whatever let’s just leave
A: ok.
B: you know what? I really don’t feel like bowling…
A: fuck you!
B: whatever!
A: you get me so excited and then you back on me?
B: it’s not like I promised! I seriously don’t feel like it… I think you talked me into it. You knew how would I react!
A: duuuude!!! Seriously?? Seriously??
B: yeah! You always do that!
A: when?? When??
B: 2 weeks ago I paid for that miso soup and the sashimi feast you had!
A: you offered!
B: exactly! I don’t even like Japanese food!
A: then why did you go??
B: because you talked me into it!
A: I didn’t!
B: yes you did!
A: this conversation is going nowhere…
B: bullshit!
A: I’m going bowling wanna come? I’ll pay for both of us, so that you wouldn’t think I talked you into it!
B: what makes you think I didn’t talk you into it!
A: you can’t!
B: oh yeah?
A: yeah… Whatever let’s just go…
B: I’ll pay for my game.
A: fair
B: fair.
A: let’s go.
B: ok.
Rehearsals for Retirements
Today is my last day in Napoli, I’m leaving to Rome tomorrow morning, hopefully morning… for 3 days then back home sweet home…
I’m having fun here… It’s a really nice place, and pictures are coming soon… I just came back from the Capodimonte Museum… I got stuck in the elevator for 10 minutes with an old man and on the way back I almost got hit by a car while I was walking on the sidewalk… I got the message Napoli… you didn’t have to make it that obvious… I already got it…
To be honest today my mood is very much down… like really down there… I don’t even feel like going out though it’s still 15:15
meh!
I’m planning my own rehearsals for retirement, if you know what I’m saying… I think I’ll start once I’m back home… It’s easier that way…
I loved going to Madre, the museum of modern art in Napoli… very inspirational… also visited Pompei the oldest remaining city in the world, destroyed by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius so a lot of the city was saved under the ashes and they had to remove almost 6 meters of ashes… and they also found some dead bodies in their last dieing position… awful… a family with a pregnant mother and 2 children next to her… also a dog… and so on…
one more thing to say…
LONG LIVES PHIL OCHS AND GOD BLESS HIS SOUL