It’s not about making people like you or not, because you can’t force people to like you that’s for sure, and I know that, but sometimes I feel like I should’ve acted as an asshole with certain people… because being the “good” boy that I am doesn’t work all the time… please no one asks me to define “good” or what is considered “good” because that’s just going in circles… “hey, define good? cuz it’s relative!” well, fuck you! lol!
Anyway, I really hate myself when I have to become an asshole with some people *which isn’t something I usually do!!* because I have to, or else I would get fucked over by whoever this person is… you know when you say “ok, I’ll let it go this time” and when it’s the 10th time or something and you still say it… it sucks… I maybe should’ve used a better word than “asshole” like “more firm” or “more strict” or “more distant” or something… but why am I using “asshole” is becuz the situation makes me feel like it’s not me, not that it’s not my right to feel this way but it’s 7 A.M and I haven’t slept much so bear with me shwayya…
Is it really that when you ignore certain people they start caring for you and asking about you, and when you’re just there all the time it’s like nothing? madri :s
People are weird and everyone thinks they’re doing the “right” thing, even if you don’t think you’re doing the right “thing” you are doing it by not doing it… get it? so that means we are always thinking we are doing the right thing, maybe not the best right thing but something that’s just right right now… *yawns* …. Eric Andersen is such a good songwriter! anyway, so I think me trying to treat some people differently is my way of doing the right thing, cuz I had it with certain things or maybe some certain method that I’m using that isn’t working… well, sometimes I just don’t feel like an asshole… sometimes I feel wise *ah, who doesn’t!* or funny or simply good… maybe certain intentions are good but yet they are projected negatively and they get misread by whoever is I’m dealing with… of course, I would have no idea how negatively they are projected… my keyboard just went from grey to green for a second… so is this my problem? is this my fault? of course no, I think people should be more honest towards each other… there’s nothing wrong to ask if you think you heard something wrong, or got it wrong… it’s not a big deal to ask “can you repeat that? I didn’t get it really” unless that’s all you keep saying for quiet a time, but that’s not the deal here, or is it?
hmm… maybe I am projecting myself negatively here and I don’t know it… but you should know that I’m thinking that I’m doing the “right” thing, and if you ask why? it’s because I’m a good boy :)
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Since I’m obssessed with heads in art, specially my own head… I love this video so much… I’ve seen it like more than 30 times, the music is really good ba3ad… it’s called “Your Face” animated by Bill Plympton, the film was nominated for best short film in the Academy… anyway, watch it and love it…